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Moms of Kid(s) with Cancer / General Discussion

Need Advice
Posted by DMay103110
on 1/6/12 at 6:55pm
My husband has a 3 year old daughter that got diagnosed with ALL Leukimia April 19, 2009. She has been in remission since May of 2009. The mother has never allowed my husband to have any contact with her unless its at her house even before she got diagnosed, so he finally filed for visitation. The mother is now using it against him that she has cancer and its not safe for her to leave her house. Yet she takes her all the place. She says she has a doctors note that she is house bound. But when we were there the doctor told us not to put her in a bubble. has anyone else had to deal with allowing there kids to leave the house or is she just making this up. Also she is done with treatment june of this year.

Thank you

Replies (1-4 of 4)

Posted by PenelopesMom
on 1/7/12 at 12:18am

My daughter was diagnosed with ALL in 2009 as well, she's also still in remission and she goes to public school with alllll the germs. She finishes her chemo next month!!! Anyway, her mother seems full of crap and it's no excuse to keep a daughter from a father even if she DID need to be in a "bubble". Just my opinion. It's midnight and I'm kind of cranky, sorry if this came off that way. LOL!
Althea, I think her dates are okay. After the first month of super intense treatment, the oncology team labeled my daughter as technically "in remission". In protocol for ALL treatment, they use a certain combo of chemos to force remission and after 28 days they do a new bone marrow aspiration and test it. 85% of the time there are "no detectable cancer cells", and the child is labeled as remissed. Then for girls, there's 2 1/2 years of total chemotherapy at different levels of intensity to "maintain" the remission. For boys its 3 1/2 years because the poor guys have testicles that can hide the cancer. Sorry, I know that's a lot more than anyone asked for! lol.
Posted by NanaCheryl
on 2/20/12 at 10:45am (1 like)

Listen, I am the grandmother of what was once a very sick little boy. My husband I got him through treatment and we are still raising him. I have been in this situation. EVERY child is different. Every child reacts differently to the treatment. There were FOUR protocols (at the time our grandsons treatment) and I am assuming it is still the same now. Each protocol was different and depending on which one your child is on depends on the difficulty in which she might have. Each one had increased doses of chemo etc. Ours was on the second most difficult. He almost died several times. He spent over 150 days in the hospital with sepsis x 8 or more times in his blood. Staph in his blood x2 (only once do we know how this happened--all the other times I suspect it was careless nurses @ the hospital) He had PCP pneumonia and Pseudomonas in the blood. One time he was overdosed and was in a coma for 3 days. He had steroid psychosis during his treatment. I could keep going on and on.....what I am trying to show you is that EVERY child is different. Not everyone sails through treatment and many, many die. One infection---can kill the child.
We also had our grandson father come to visit. I cant tell you how many times he came sick or came after spending time with someone who was sick. Kaeden became ill within days of every visit. That meant that we would spend at least a week or more in the hospital. It was frustrating to say the least. The father got married to a girl after knowing her a month. She came to my house and insisted that I allow the father to take Kaeden to his home because "he was the father". (he signed away his rights at birth) That would have meant that Kaeden would be 4 hours away from his treatment with a father who didnt/wouldnt know the signs of a raging infection if it hit him in the nuts! So NO......if you havent read a book, went to the treatments, spent time with the child in the hospital and talked to the doctor and read about every drug she is on and the side effects etc......then I dont think it is wise for the child to go spend time with the father in his home. This isnt about the father.....this is about saving the childs life.
BTW, Kaedens doctors said they would step in if the father insisted on taking the child. They were willing to go to court over it. It wasnt even the father that wanted it......he trust us now and trusted us then......it was the new wife who wanted it.....and she was only 19.........and now they are divorced......
Posted by anninnj
on 3/29/12 at 2:13pm

Hello.
My son was diagnosed with ALL on September 18, 2009 (when he was 3 1/2) and is still in active treatment. After he was diagnosed, I expected his oncologist to tell me to take him out of day care and keep him home, but he said that wasn't necessary. Of course, evern child's situation is different, but (based on what you've written) I agree that it sounds more like an excuse to keep your husband away from his child.
Posted by jamieharper08
on 4/18/12 at 10:59pm

I don't blame her for not wanting him to take her all over the place. When my dd was sick I pulled my son out of pre-k so he would not bring home germs. I sent people away that were sick. Maybe they should sit down and talk about the mother's wishes while with the father?