• when do i give up?
  • Posted by piratepixie
    on 2/16/12 at 11:51am
  •   i have gotten to the point where i want to crawl under the biggest rock and bury myself. when i cant take the heartbreak and disapointment anymore.  my need for a child will never go away, my need to be a mother is always there and i almost cant breath its crushing. 

      i have always had fertility problems and im getting older with each passing day. the SO doesnt understand that doesnt see me dying more and more each day. he doesnt understand the heartbreak and i cant live with myself anymore.

      5 years to have my angel only to have him stolen from me, all these years where my arms are still empty and im alone. i know i am really not but i feel like i am. no one understands how it feels and i hate the world for not helping me all the times i begged then to. now i have nothing and i cant go on anymore. my SO doesnt understand how it feels, how it has felt all these years. he tries to make me happy but i have given up on being happy and i have all but given up on being a mother.  i cant take another heartbreak, i am starting to see that somethings will never be ment to be no matter how hard to try.  when do i give up?  after another 5 years? after of months of fertility drugs and let downs? should i just face the truth that all i will have is a broken heart and a house of cats? i am trying to find a reason to still try, to still hold on and still have hope but its slipping and i have little to nothing to hold on to. when do i give up?

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